Tuesday, August 3, 2010

moratorium

This is how I felt last week. I think it pretty much explains itself, right? I am paring back some things and getting back to what is necessary for survival and what is special. Abby is gone to her Grandaddy's house (having a blast - I am positive!). I am only working one weekday this week.

When I lived way out in the trailer, I had dreamed constantly of the day when I could help people. We lived so far that I was unable have people over much (not to mention how unsafe and ugly the trailer was). A very tangible way to help people my age is to watch their children. I have countless friends who have small children. We all need help sometimes when a doctor appointment comes up or we have to work. I have watched numerous children in this house since we moved in 6 months ago (really, too many to count - several we kept overnight). I consider it a huge blessing and it humbles me to think that my friends trust me with their children. I am rounding a corner in my life when I have been struggled with being used or just being a convenient target. So, I am going to take a break from watching children at home (unless it is some kind of emergency or something) for a couple of months. I will be taking time to invest more in my children and getting back to reality. I realize that because of my moratorium, I will not have anyone to watch my children for me in return. But let's be honest - I never really had that in the first place. Knowing myself, after a couple of months I will jump back in and be excited to serve my friends again.

The summer flies by so fast. I am not in any hurry to miss these special years of my life that I will never get back. My children are a joy to me and I love spending time with them unfettered.

2 comments:

  1. I don't blame you one bit. A moratorium sounds like a good idea to me. Some people really don't know when friendliness ends and greediness begins when it comes to their children (and excessively pawning off their children on other people). Babysitting is a privilege, not a right.

    So, you go girl!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not quite my reasoning - but I can understand some people feel that way! I think people just trust me and know that I do it for a living so I *must* like it. I guess I am such an easy target sometimes and I am the first person to call (and I don't say no unless I have a good reason). I just realized that I was keeping kids more often than not. My kids were suffering. I am enjoying things right now. :-)

    ReplyDelete